The Snitch

Beware: invading one's personal space may land you in a messy situation

The idea of personal space has always been spoken of, but just not enough. In Asian cultures, people have the tendency to maintain their physical distances as compared to western cultures which tend to be a bit more expressive and “touchy-feely”. However, there are bound to be “touchers” at the workplace, someone constantly giving out pats on the back, hugs, shoulder rubs or high fives.

Is it okay to be giving out the human touch ever so often?  Corporate lawyers and human-resource practitioners who spoke to columnist Elizabeth Bernstein say the safest bet is always to keep our hands to ourselves in the workplace.

“There aren’t standards about what touching is nonsexual other than handshakes,” says Larry Stybel, a Boston management consultant. “If we are sitting alongside each other and I put my hand on your knee, is that a friendly sign of affection or a sexual come-on? I don’t know, and I don’t know how you will perceive it. So let’s not even go there.”

For others, they simply subscribe to the hands-off rule. “Respect my force field,” says Greg Farrall, a 39-year-old financial adviser. “If you’re looking over me at my computer screen, you don’t need to put your hand on my shoulder. You can easily put it somewhere else.”

Touch is essentially a form of human communication, says Bernstein. It’s unnatural to suppress it, and even online, we succumb to Facebook “pokes” and MSN messenger’s “nudges”. Touch is also the best way to express empathy and other kinds of support, according to psychologists. In today’s economic climate, there is perhaps an increase in hugging and patting in the workplace as colleagues console each other after layoffs and buyouts.

Yet how do “touchers” decide whom to touch? Experts say you’re always taking a risk by making physical contact with a co-worker. A person’s up-bringing and socio-environmental influences will directly relate to their comfort level, and so will different workplace environments. Still, Bernstein believes that experienced “touchers” would definitely be more intuitive as far as whom to touch.

But while some of us may cringe and dodge the friendly touches that come our way, we might actually miss the human touch when it’s gone.

(via)